Picture it…It’s Canada, and the newspapers are writing about snow.  In fact, it’s the middle of March, and snow is making the news in Canada.  Here in the Peace River Country, we just shake our heads, adjust our earmuffs, and break out the shovels, which isn’t hard because they’re right by the door.  Do we envy those who have trouble with excessive snow?  No, we develop a bit of an egotistical, ‘now they know what we feel like attitude.’  Okay, not really.  We do sympathize because we know what it’s like to be hip dip in snow the moment you step outside.  Most of us have lived here long enough to remember ‘that winter.’

My personal memory of ‘the worst winter ever,’ was the one a few years back when ambient temperatures and/or wind chills ranged from minus 40 to minus 50C for nearly a month, with several inches of snow almost every day.  It was either get out there and shovel (and risk cardio trauma,) or kiss your car and career goodbye (and as we all know, you don’t kiss metal in Canada in the winter, unless it’s indoors.  And you’re looking for a trip to the funny farm.)  By the way, metal starts to get brittle at minus 50–close your car door gently.

The one winter the radio announced there was snow ‘in the middle east.’  Here in BC, we wondered what the fuss was about…it snows pretty much every year in Toronto.  Later we saw places like Iman, Jordan, etc, and went, “Oh, that middle east.”  We immediately wondered if they’d be driving like Vancouver, where they’re used to rain, but not ice and slush.

People make the same mistake driving, regardless of the snow.  They go too fast.  With excessive snow, you get to the other side of the ditch that much quicker.  By the way, aside from space shuttle, tow truck is the most expensive way to travel.  My first car insisted on teaching me that at least once a month.  This was even more exciting when things were drifted in.  However, to be fair, that car had grip like a tractor, which came in handy when I went down a steep, icy, winding driveway to ask for directions.  The farmer told me which route to take, but seemed surprised when I put the car in reverse and simply backed all the way up to the road.  Front wheel drive is great for snow and ice, although some people think you should put a couple of bags of gravel in the back for balast.  They do come in handy when the snow starts to melt and leaves ice everywhere.  And when you’re stuck in snow, because you were going too fast.  Or too slow.  Snow can be tricky.

I’m not a fan of snow, and unlike Canada’s northernmost residents, I only have one word for it.  It’s an expletive.  My plans include moving to a warm climate within the next decade.  Sooner, if the books in my science fiction series become best-sellers and let me get everything paid off quicker.

Thanks for reading.  🙂

Phyllis K Twombly

About Scifialiens

Author of the Martian Symbiont series: three titles, so far; Been Blued, Martian Blues, Martian Divides. Currently writing screenplays. 'Mating With Humans' can be found on her Stage32.com account. Enjoyed writing from the start. Also a Star Trek and Doctor Who fan. Canadian so far. Paternal grandparents were American. Feels more at home in the States. Loves dogs and most other animals. Loves cats from afar--allergies. Plays flute and saxophone; 'messes with' keyboard and electric guitar. Single so far. Not really looking at the moment. Age: irrelevant. Not to be confused with the fictional comic book character, Phyllis Twombly, who lived for 600 years in the American Midwest.

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